'I Confess …'

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9/28/2010 7:20:17 PM

This tears me apart, but I had a pet bunny over the summer I got from a farm, I loved the bunny, and I was playing with him outside and he got out of our little "pet-fence" and broke his leg. I took him to our vet and over a long period of having a cast, painkillers and a small cage, he healed. A friend and I co-owned the bunny, and I had paid for all the vet expenses, his food, water, etc; so when the bunny was healed, he went back to the friend's house. The friend developed allergies to the bunnies(he had one already), and asked me to take them. I have 2 guinea pigs, a dog and 2 cats, and I was at a very hectic and stressful time in my life, so I let my friend sell the bunny to someone on craigslist(i dont know who, he had just asked me if he could sell him). Now I feel cruel, and terrible that I gave up responsibility for him after nursing him back to health before. I feel good that I saved his life, but I think everyday about how he's doing, and how I wish I had just sucked it up and taken him back. :( I just needed to vent about that.

9/12/2010 3:51:41 AM

The other night a lost dog was wandering down the back alley by my house. I immediately went out to catch it and make sure it wouldn't go on the main roads. the dog, Choko was it's name, had tags. so I went into the house (and left Choko to play with my dog in the yard) and called the owner. the owner said that the dog had "escaped earlier in the day" and that they "hadn't bothered looking for it yet." right away I was a little wary of this..but I told him my address and he said he'd come pick the dog up. I waited for at least 45 minutes.. whilst waiting I noticed the dog's collar was FAR too tight (causing an indentation in the skin) so I immediately loosened it. finally the owner came. and instantly Choko's demeanor changed, he dropped to his belly and crawled backwards towards me, whimpering and whining.. trying to get away. the owner charged him and grabbed him by the collar and noticed that it was "too loose" and tightened it right up again. I informed him that I'd loosened it because it was choking the dog, and he said nothing. the dog wasn't budging adn kept looking back at me.. finally the dog gave in (probably because it was being choked to death) and stood up to walk to the car. Choko looked back at me and gave me the saddest look I've ever seen. Once the man had left I called my mom and we drove around (he had told me that he lived on the same street as me.) and we searched for over an hour for the man's car.. we never saw it. but I'm going to keep on a vigilant lookout, because I regret giving Choko back now.. I should've called the Humane Society or something.. I cried later that night.. and I still feel awful about it. I'm sorry Choko, I hope I see you again someday.

8/20/2010 2:20:41 AM

i have done no wrong however i wish we all could be better responsible people for our pets i remember a few instances where i should have.

8/3/2010 5:40:56 PM

I had 2 beautiful cats, Sophie & Damien, for 4 years. We were getting ready to move to a new home when the sale fell through. My own house was already sold, so we had no place to go. I asked my mother if we (me and the 2 cats) could move in with her til I found another house to buy. She said yes, and we moved to the 2nd floor. Me and the cats were quiet and well-behaved, yet one month later my mother told us to get out, she wanted to live alone. One month later! So Sophie, Damien and I moved in with a friend, but this was their 3rd home in one month, so they were very stressed out. Sophie was so panicked her fur was dropping everywhere; she was hiding; afraid of everything. My friend was saying he couldn't have all that fur all over the house and she'd have to go. If I couldn't stay there I had no place to go again, so I took her to the shelter, crying the whole ride, and gave them a $300 donation begging them to find her a home. I drove back the next day, took her to my friend's home again hoping she'd be okay...but she was so panicky and stressed it just wouldn't work. I took her back to the shelter with another donation, again begging and explaining I was only reluctantly giving her up. They promised to find her a home and to try not to worry, they'd find her a good home. Six months later I finally had a new home and called the shelter but they couldn't find her records. So I couldn't adopt her back now that I had a home for us all. That was 20 years ago and I have never forgiven myself for taking her to the shelter, choosing Damien over her (he was not stressed out), working with her more to feel safe and comfortable rather than scared. Not a day goes by I don't think about her or cry for what I did. I pray she did get a good home and found it in her heart to forgive me. Sophie, I am sorry and I loved you very much. They promised you a good home and I hope they fulfilled it for me. You are a beautiful girl, in heaven now I'm sure.

7/20/2010 12:36:56 AM

It's not a confession but an incident from childhood that haunts me & hurts my soul. When I was about 5 or 6 yrs old our neighbor's dog had puppies. The puppies were not fed properly & would come into our back yard. My parents aren't terrible, but not exactly sympathetic to an animals plight. But one noght the 4 puppies were in our yard crying. They were hungry. My Mother dug some leftover rice & beef, mixted with cigarette ashes & buts & laid the food on top of old newspaper. She put it outside on the back porch & the puppies came running & were whining so loudly from hunger & scarfed the food up so fast. This was so many years ago. My mother commented how Mrs. winnie the neighbor wasn't feeding her dogs. Now I really can't remember what became of the female dog & her pups but that memory is horrible & I can't shake it. I hope that all animals abused or negglected don't die in vain & there is an afterlife or heaven. To think they are born, suffer & die like these puppies may have is jusy too depressing to comprehend.

7/12/2010 12:09:55 AM

I have been forgetting to feed my fish.. It's tank got low with water, the filter stopped pumping and the tank was consumed with algae. I just looked away from my poor fish that I had since grade school, until last night when I realized that I could easily give it A better life. I'm glad that I did, because before I cleaned the tank he was barely moving. Now, he's darting around in fresh water with a working pump, plants and no algae. I apologize, mr. fish.

5/30/2010 10:52:32 PM

I had kept my cousin's two cats for him but my husband was getting mad. Cousin could not and would not be able to take them back ever. I had to bring them to the animal shelter and they told me they would most likely put them to sleep or kill them in my mind. I am still crying over it and hurt for them. I hate bringing any animal to a shelter and feel so much guilt for I know they killed them. I just hope the kitty's forgive me.

3/29/2010 12:17:54 AM

I went to a reptile convention last year looking for a new reptile after I let my toads go. I ended up buying a veiled chameleon knowing nothing about the care of this fragile reptile. I ended up spending about $200 dollars on her Reptarium , lighting, bugs for her to eat, a new reptile mister, all my free time and my social life just for her to die 3 months later of metabolic bone disease, plus the $200 dollar vet bill for them to tell me nothing till it was to late. I think if I had read up more before I got my veiled chameleon I might have been able to care better for her.

2/6/2010 10:40:33 PM

Last year i decided to get a pet fish. He was a beta and i always felt a sort of connection to him. But i was not the most responsible owner and didn't clean his bowl much. I decided to clean his bowl one night so i filled up his other bowl and let it sit overnight to warm up and all but in the morning he was dead. If only i had not cared about the temperature he could have lived. I'm so sorry Jasper.

12/8/2009 1:38:25 PM

We lost my beloved tabby, Billy last Thursday and looking back on the last month, I came to realize that the cause was owner neglect and I'm overwhelmed by grief and guilt. In August of 2008, Billy had lost significant weight and was not moving very well. We had brought him into the vet and he was diagnosed as diabetic. Every day I gave him insulin injections twice a day and put him on DM dry, as instructed by our vet. It was really no big deal to do. Billy’s health improved over the weeks and was back to being the robust tabby. It wasn't until I went away this past October of 2009 and my husband was in charge of the shots. When I came back he told me that he hadn't given him the shots, nor had he given him any during two one-week vacations I had taken in June and August of this summer. He said maybe he doesn’t need it since he was always borderline and hearing that some cats diabetes can be maintained with just diet, we thought we were lucky. But I made the grave mistake by not checking initially with the vet and getting his levels checked. All the while he looked fine, but that’s what happens with cats… it’s their nature to not appear vulnerable. Two months later, he started to look bad, not as bad as before, but bad enough. I resumed giving him his shots. And he was meowing very loudly as if trying to tell us something. Before we had a chance to take him to the vet, he was gone and now I'm living with immense grief as well as guilt. He was my first cat and forever loyal to me. Still coming over to me in his final days. I adopted him at 1.5 - 2 years and he was with me for 14.5 years, but he could have been with us longer. The hard part of course was breaking the news to my two girls. We spent the afternoon making pictures and writing letters which we put in the box and buried him later that day.

11/25/2009 3:15:09 AM

I had a cat. My mom got remarried and we moved to a new place. The cat lived with me in the basement. I was hardly home. Most of the time she lived in darkness. I cleaned her litter box rarely. I fed her, but I don't think I fed her enough. I'd push her aggressively some times. Then she got sick. Then she died. Of course there's more to the story - I was troubled kid, but knowing that doesn't make me feel better. So much time has passed and I feel the same guilty pain. I hate myself. I don't believe I can ever forgive myself.

9/28/2009 7:38:57 AM

This isn't so much of a confession of mine, but rather my towns animal shelter. About four years ago, the Cheyenne Animal Shelter euthanized hundreds of dogs due to a "flu outbreak". During the time, my mom had worked there and saw the awful way these dogs were treated. Then, about 2 and a half years ago, my boyfriend and I visited the animal shelter and I absolutely fell in love with a puppy that was then named Jack, now named Reese. I adopted him, and took him home. Two days after I adopted him, he started throwing up and not wanting to eat. We took him to the vet and found out that he had parvo. I don't think that him or other dogs at the shelter had been vaccinated for parvo and maybe even other diseases. The people of our town have had meetings and other holdings to try to get our shelter in better condition, and make it a no-kill shelter. But we haven't suceeded. I honestly don't know what to do about this.

9/5/2009 10:47:42 AM

I have a pet rabbit. While it was my brother who bought him, I am tyhe one who cares for him now. I just wanted to say that rabbits should not be pets, in m opinion. Especially if you don't have very much space to let them run around. I let my rabbit out of his cage every day, but I only have a small area to let him play in. He is almost 13 years old right now and it kills me to think of what a miserable life he's had and how he should have lived his life in the wild. I will never buy a rabbit or a hamster or anything like that again....ever.

8/9/2009 3:21:00 PM

My mom went behind my back and adopted two dogs from a shelter after one of our two cocker spaniels passed away from cancer. I lived with her at the time, and we took care of the three dogs, but my relationship with my boyfriend became serious and I moved in with him out of town and took the remaining cocker with me. Since then my mom gave one dog to my grandmother, who has full time sitters (who hate her and keep her locked up) and has Alzheimers (and the house is filthy and has fleas!), and the other dog lives in my mother's garage in the dark with rarely any water or food! She put an industrial sized fan in there for the poor dog, and installed a doggie door to the backyard, but he isn't the brightest and is scared to use the door. She often goes out of town for days or weeks at a time, and doesn't remember to feed him or check his water before she leaves, or even after she gets back. This dog is ignored for days at a time, even though she sleeps on the other side of the wall from him! I always come check on him when she's going to be away for a day or two, and I've tried to talk her into letting him in the house again, but to no avail. His fur is matted and he lives with his own feces! There are even rats there and he lives with fleas too! Is this animal cruelty? Every time I see him I feel awful, but don't know what I can do about it. He is rather large and doesn't get along with my boyfriend's cats. Does anyone have any suggestions? arasputinafan@aol.com

9/29/2009 8:35:28 PM

I was a freshman in college when I bought Jayla, my toy yorkie. I wanted her because I had been giving a yorkie when I was younger and he had pasted away. I was living alone, studying all the time and felt I need a little companion to come home to. Mind you this is before I learnt of puppy-mills which I am totally against. But I purshased her and I instantly feel in love. She was everything I had been looking for in a pet, smart, playful and full of energy. I ended up moving around a lot, but she was always in tow. Until I had moved into one apartment that didnt allow pets. I brought her with me anyways, soon the landlord gave me the option of moving out or getting rid of Jayla. I couldnt afford to move so I took her to my moms where I could trust that she was going to be okay until I figured something out. My step-dad allowed her in the house for a short time then they put her out side. When I would go in she knew who I was, she would run to get her toys so I would play with her then want to climb in my lap and curl up in a ball and sleep. They did have a nice bed and house for her but it broke my heart and I felt like the worst person in the word. Everytime I would come in I had her favorite treats and special dog food. I would try to give her all the attention she wanted because I knew I was leaving soon and I could swear she knew it too. Whe I would go to leave she would jump in the car and into her ''use-to-be'' seat and stare like she was ready to go. I hate myself for that. Jayla also got a bad skin irritaion from the weather I suppose but I never let her go without taking her the vet for the least little thing. In one month Jayla will be coming home to me and I cant wait. The only advice I suggest is not to buy a dog, adopt, and when you adopt, make sure you have a stable enviroment for your new friend, because like humans they get depressed and miss you like anyone one else. I hope she forgives me. She is truely everything to me.

8/14/2009 4:46:28 PM

My cat Royal, a flame point Himalayan, was diagnosed with renal failure in late May 2009. The vet I went to was cautious with me about how much time Royal had left but said it could be anywhere from months to years. I was excited by this prognosis and we started him on a treatment plan. A month after diagnosis we took him in for tests to see how he was doing. I thought he was doing great, he was more playful and had stopped losing weight. His fur was getting back to its old self. But the doctor called the following Monday and said Royal's numbers were bad. He was developing anemia and he thought he might have lymphoma. He wanted to do a test for it that would cost 300 dollars. He also said in his experience that cats who get anemia deteriorate rapidly. Although I was depressed, I said let's do the test. But then the next day, either Royal or our other cat Flash peed on our new couch. My wife was really upset about this and we were fighting all the time and I thought Royal was in for at best a few months of torturous treatments so I said let's go put him to sleep. I couldn't take all the stress. Now I know I made the worst mistake of my life and I feel guilt that I know will always be with me. I'm not even sure it was Royal that peed but if it was it was because we only had one litterbox for two cats and he was using it all the time, and I only usually cleaned it every other day. I know now that Himalayans are very picky about litterboxes and I know that this was a primary reason for us rushing to put him to sleep. I hate myself so much and wish that I could take this decision back so badly. I miss Royal and regret that in his most sincere time of need, I turned my back on him. I am sorry Royal. I loved you so much but did not show it. You were my sweet boy.

7/8/2009 6:49:37 AM

About 6 yrs ago when i was working in South Africa at a nice hotel, our maintenance manager just got some puppies and i was really wanting one. I talked with my then ex husband and he agreed. We got frodo who was a beagle mix and he was the cutest puppy but VERY hyperactive. A year later due to some personal events i had to move back to Mauritius (my home island) and i tried everything in my power to get him to Mauritius. Unfortunately it would take a long time before he got here and lots of money. I was able to find a home for him with a nice family but he was too hyper for them so they sent him to the SPCA!! I was soo sad and a couple months later i went back for a holiday where i worked and i stopped at the SPCA and saw him and it broke my heart. I cried for days after and decided i would write a letter to the town newspaper explaining his story (I did all that from back home) I eventually heard that he got adopted by a farmer on a huge ranch.. Never heard from him again. Wherever you are Frodo hope that you are a happy pup!! I miss you and think about u all the time and thank you for sharing a year of your life with me!!!

7/6/2009 2:17:52 AM

Today my dog died due to my stupidity. I tied the dog to my garage while I cooked. She was always so well behaved and calm that I didn't think any thing would happen to her. When my friend when to check her she had tangled herself and didn't look alive. I didn't know what to do as I blanked out on my knowledge of cpr. I was so upset I was in shock. I could have saved her I feel horrible but I will do my best to take care of any animals I come in contact with and love them and value their lives. Rest in Peace LuLu. :(

7/5/2009 7:21:43 AM

When I was 6 or 7 years old, I was really excited by the frogs and newts that lived in our pond. I used to play with them in the garden. One day I had a friend round and we decided to bring the frog into my room in a little tub of water so we could play with him, then put him back when my friend went home. I heard my mother coming up the stairs and panicked, because I thought she'd kill both me AND the frog if she saw it in my room. In a panicky decision I decided the only way aorund it would be to chuck the water and frog out the window, which was about 10 feet above the ground and onto the grass. Instead the frog landed about 4 feet down onto a small canopy. We tried washing it off with water but it wouldn't move. Eventually my mother saw the water falling down from another room and came up and climbed down the window to get the poor frog. He was alive, thank god, and she put him back after that. I have felt terrible every day of my life for that. I hpoe the frog can forgive my childish foolishness.

7/5/2009 12:25:13 AM

i had a pet rat when i was in 3-4 grade. she got heart decease and i stayed home from school the day we had schedualed her to be put down. i held her with me for a long time and put her back in her cage. i thought she went to sleep but i felt in my heart that she had died, im not sure if i was afraid of touching her or what, but i never looked back into the cage. i feel extremely guilty that she died alone and sad.

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